You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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