How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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