they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
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