Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
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