your thong is hanging out like whoa
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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