Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I woke up under a house in Key West
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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