First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
You ruined the universe
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
