At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
