I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize