you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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