is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
