I will die if light touches me.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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