Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
