People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
