You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Randomize
