Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
