I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
