dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
