Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
