PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
one two three fourrrrnication!
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
