Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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