He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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