come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
