i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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