U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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