wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
