Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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