period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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