I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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