I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Randomize
