I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I just googled if crying burns calories
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize