Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
This house was built for laser tag.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
