so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
