I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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