Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
