so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
