i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
we're blogging at a bar
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
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