Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
