The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
