Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
