sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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