I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
