I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
