Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
You made out with two different species that night
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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