Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
