The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
