told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
you inspire me to be a worse person
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
