So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
