Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
