If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
