i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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