That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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