he shaved USA in his pubs
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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