Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I have fence marks all over my body
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
