it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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