im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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