i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
