My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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