3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
