Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize