The maid of honor just puked.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
