the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize