so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
