no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
