Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
