Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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