Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
