You made me cry and you don't even care
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
