That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
