i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
