plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
