under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
