So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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