Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
You made out with two different species that night
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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