his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
