Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
