i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize