I didn't shave. On purpose
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I made him laugh his dick is mine
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize