I think I am morally bankrupt
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
