yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
