I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
