Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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