I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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