Will you blow on my dice?
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
