Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize