Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
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