yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
